The shift in my relationship with alcohol did not happen overnight. It was a slow, insidious slide into unwellness that I should have seen coming given my genetic background, family history and fears of abandonment. But I did not.   Alcohol was my solution, no, it had more power than that; I thought it was my friend. I celebrated with it, grieved with it, hid with it, I counted on it. It was my most secret relationship, my lover, an affair. I