Family Recovery Coaching
Today The Lighthouse is proud to announce the expansion of our Family Coaching Services. Every family that has a loved one engaged in Lighthouse services will be offered a weekly session with a trained Family Recovery Coach.
We will continue to offer our Individualized Family Coaching Services to families that would like more in-depth services to support their wellness, whether or not their loved one is seeking recovery support. Our Family Recovery Coaches are CCAR and CMC trained and can help you develop a better understanding of addiction and the tools that will help grow your family’s wellness.
With the holidays approaching, this is a topic that has been at the forefront of my mind. I have been thinking a lot about my family, their role in my recovery and the importance of family recovery. As a person in recovery myself and a person who has lost my child, Gregory, to an opiate overdose, I have received so many mixed messages about the role of the family (and my role) in a loved one’s healing process. I wonder if you have too.
I was told:
- I was an enabler.
- This is a disease.
- Throw him out.
- Let him hit his bottom.
- It wasn’t my fault.
- It was my fault.
- I couldn’t fix him.
- Go to Al-Anon.
- I was co-dependent.
- I was blind to his behavior.
- I was not strict enough.
- I was too strict.
- I didn’t know enough about addiction.
- I should listen to the experts.
- Wait, NO, not that expert.
- My help was unhelpful.
What have you been told?
What have you told yourself?
I am sad to admit that I was so desperate for a solution that I tried most of these—even those that just felt wrong to my core, because I did not know what to do … I thought, surely the experts at the treatment centers knew what I should do! I have learned that is not necessarily true. Here are a few more things that I have learned on my journey:
- I must be able to get up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and be ok knowing I did the best I could do, whatever it was;
- I am human (who knew?!);
- I make mistakes;
- I made choices based on the best information I had at that moment;
- Everything I did was born of love;
- Self-compassion is a key ingredient in maintaining my wellness;
- Taking care of myself IS taking care of my loved one (oxygen mask on the airplane);
- Loving someone is always a good thing;
- I have to find ways to help reinforce and support all recovery efforts;
- I must learn to forgive myself;
- Love heals;
- I need to be present for those I love—all of them;
- Fear and hope can be held in my heart simultaneously;
- I need support;
- I can help.
I wish I’d had a coach to walk this walk with me and remind me of these things along the way.
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